The Problem of perfection is that it’s so hard to attain. If you try to hold your appearance, your kids, your capabilities together so no one can see the holes in the seams, you’re trying to live up to unrealistic expectations for yourself.
Sometimes I’m still drawn to compare myself to others or believe lies about my potential. I’m definately not perfect. That knowledge brings me great joy and an ability to relax. At one time (for a long time) I did try to look perfect so that I would be loved and cherished. That’s what I want to hit on today-aiming for perfect.
A client of mine told me that she liked appearing perfect, the only problem with aiming for perfection was that she was totally stressing herself (and probably her family) out. She wanted to stand out, flawless and perfect so that she would be respected and admired.
Living “perfectly” means there is no room to screw up.
The problem with perfection is that there is no room for mistakes, no room left to grow. Ouch. “It’s squishy in here!”
My client told me that she would work three times as hard as she really needed to so that others would feel she was always pulling her weight….like she knew how to read their minds anyways. Saying no to a colleague asking for help (so he can could have more time off) would have seemed so rude. “The perfect doctor always helps her colleague, lest she be seen as a slacker. Anyways, deep down, the quality of my work defines how valuable I am. I better show up and look REAL good!”
If you stop aiming for perfection, will your productivity decline? This is a BIG worry that many of my clients have. The truth is that when you set realistic expectations for yourself, a high-achiever, your self esteem will increase, your sense of safety will increase and the way you relate to yourself and others will improve. If anything, you will see your productivity INCREASE!
The more mistakes you make, the more original and attractive your life is to others who are watching. People will rarely learn great lessons and gain in wisdom by staying in that comfortable bed of predictability. Life starts when you throw off the blankets and face your fears.
When you make mistakes, it shows me and others that you are willing to risk looking stupid or worse so that you can achieve what you’re aiming for. Anyone who has ever achieved a trophy has had to practice, rehearse and train before she mastered the skills necessary to get her hands on the prize. Don’t give up too soon. Don’t shy away from risk just because you want to appear to have everything together. No one has everything together.
Your imperfections offer you an opportunity to shine through the darkness and grow. Don’t stop growing!
“Growth isn’t for everybody. Some people just want to stay the same forever.”
If you live in or around the Comox Valley, are a Family Caregiver and would like to find out how you can decrease your stress and overcome some of your personal fears, come to my free event tomorrow night (Jan 25th). Here is the info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1734382890118636/
If you would like to sign up for my program 60 Days To A Confident Caregiver, you can find out more info HERE!
http://amyenglemark.com/60-days-to-a-confident-caregiver/
With Love,
Amy