Does your work control you or are you taking time for self care and balance?  That may be a difficult question for you to answer if you’re like many North American women today.  I can’t tell you how many of my clients struggle to keep themselves on their own list of priorities.

It seems like many women grow up, try to fit in, try to please others, try to be perfect.

If this is you, your challenge lies in where you are finding your value.  You won’t find lasting value in what you do or what you have.  Look for value in who you ARE.

I was coaching a client today who was reminiscing about her desire to always appear perfect, to never say no (that would look weak) and to make everyone else happy so they would like her.

Needing to be perfect is a precarious goal.  With unrealistic expectations comes stress, self doubt, worry, resentment and blame.  Who wants to live with that?

So what can you do about it?

Let yourself fail.

When you fail, you’re not a failure.  You are still loved.  Failures are opportunities for you to move on and up.

Practice self love, patience and compassion.

This same client tells me that the more time she takes for herself to rest, meditate, excercise, whatever, the more she feels content, like she can let go of control and just rest.  She’s come to the understanding that focusing on what she does have control of instead of the myriad of things out of her control, gives her confidence.  She’s then able to relax her body and find balance inside.

You’ve got to find balance inside, in your heart and mind before you can see it shifting before your eyes.

Make Decisions That Make You Feel Good

This takes a willingness to slow down and listen.  To listen to your needs and honor yourself as valuable, worthy of time.  The more you do this, you’ll see that others benefit most when you take care of your own needs first.

You don’t need to worry.  Worry won’t help you solve problems.  It actually decreases your ability to think straight and come up with solutions!  You won’t all the sudden become unproductive or a slacker when you create more balance for yourself.  A funny thing happens when you take time for yourself, your family is happier because you’re happier, your clients, colleagues and friends will enjoy being around you even more and you’ll have more mental clarity to make important decisions at work.

It’s time.

How will you prioritize your selfcare more?  What will that look like in your life?

Let me know in the comments below!