If you’re not in the habit of taking time for yourself, prioritizing YOU may seem selfish, illogical and may even induce guilt! The more you prioritize yourself, the easier it will get. It will feel so good you won’t want to quit! Just like a doctor or physio appointment, a client meeting or any other priority that matters to you, you need to put it in your calendar to make it happen
When I don’t make my needs a priority, my stress increases. I become more impatient and blunt with my family. We enjoy less quality time together. My ability to focus, think on the spot and solve problems diminishes. Negative thoughts become more rampant and my health suffers. You get the drift!
Why We Let Guilt Rule
Many people feel guilty for taking time out for themselves. You are not alone! When your workload is overwhelming, prioritizing others needs first seems logical.
For some reason, many of us feel like others matter more than we do. Their needs, happiness and value can take priority over ours. When you don’t honor yourself, it’s easy to start feeling resentful and blame others for the boundaries you haven’t set!
This is called victim mode. Avoid this by taking responsibility for how you want to feel and how you want to spend your time. Look at what’s in your control to change and make those changes! Remember that you are always in control of yourself, your responses, your interpretation, your emotions and your time. Guaranteed you will upset some people who aren’t used to the new you but eventually they’ll get over it or you may choose to let go of those relationships.
The Courageous Ones Are Rewarded With Rest And Fun
Me-Time won’t start happening until you start believing that rest and fun are a necessity, not something lazy people do. Free time and fun activities fuel your health and happiness which in turn, boosts productivity and the quality of work you produce. It’s not the weak and lacking person who takes consistent time to refuel, it’s the courageous one. Courage will be required of you as you turn your focus away from possible social judgement and spend your time creating the life you want to live.
True Story #1
A few years ago, I was coaching a client, a family physician, who rarely asked for time off. She felt that taking time off would put too much pressure on her colleagues and they would resent her for it. Besides, she was afraid she wouldn’t know what to do with her free time! Many years had passed since she had allowed herself to make regular time for girls trips or be involved in sports. From her perspective, if she wasn’t working out of the home she wasn’t contributing to the lives of others. She had forgotten that she was also directly contributing to the lives of future leaders, her children. If she took time off to honor her highest priorities she felt she would be disappointing and upsetting some of her patients. She feared something would go wrong in her absence and then she would be left feeling responsible for her negligence.
Now she knows that when she makes herself a priority and honors her needs for fitness, spiritual health, and family time, she is less judgemental of others and more trusting. Her self-esteem has sky-rocketed because she no longer looks for validation from others. She now makes decisions that make HER happy instead of worrying how others will view her.
True Story #2
Another client of mine, a financial advisor, had completely let his health slip before hiring me. He was at his heaviest weight and coffee wasn’t keeping him energized anymore!
We developed a plan together to increase his family time and time spent getting healthier. He committed to wake up early three days a week to workout. He committed to eating breakfast and planning meals ahead of time to ensure he wasn’t eating unhealthy foods in a rush. He started taking every second Friday off to spend with his wife, go on adventures or do nothing, if he felt like it. Within 3 weeks of working with me he reported that he and his team had their most productive week in ages and he had only been onsite with them for 2 days out of the work week! There is a myth that productivity decreases when you take time off. The opposite is true!
Time To Reflect
Reflecting on these stories, how much time will YOU dedicate as ‘me-time’on a weekly basis? Will you wake up earlier? Will you change your morning routine and start eating breakfast with your family? Will you actually block out a half hour for lunch and maybe go for a walk to clear your mind?
At any given moment you can create your new normal, your new standard. Imagine how your focus and energy levels will improve, even your ability to control your anger when you take back how you spend your time. Many of my clients tell me that they feel much more connected to their family members and the quality of work they’re producing improves when they take action instead of just thinking and planning to make changes ‘some-day.’
Daily Step:
So, is your calendar blocked off? I want you to keep those dates for yourself! One of the proven ways to do this is to write your ‘me time’ on your calendar. Trust me. It helps! Don’t be surprised when challenges arise that threaten to rob you of free time. These threats won’t always feel so challenging. Once you’ve stood up for yourself enough times, the bullies don’t seem so big. Stick to your guns! Guard your time. Practice healthy boundary setting. You are important. You deserve this time, so stay committed. Limit your interruptions as much as possible.
Spend your “Me Time” doing whatever your heart desires. Allow yourself to be spontaneous. If you haven’t made a specific plan for how you will use your time, listen to what you need in the moment. If you feel like spending time in nature, napping or reading your book, do it! This is the time to refuel.
Tell me below when the next date with yourself is going to happen!
Amy Englemark teaches strategies to Boost Health, Wealth and Free Time to Entrepreneurs, Community and Business Leaders. Get Amy’s 3 Step System to Boost your Time and Productivity at: www.amyenglemark.com . For Proven Tools to zap stress, free up your time and boost your income, Like Amy Englemark Coaching on Facebook and Follow her on LinkedIn at: Amy Englemark.