You Can Learn To Trust Again

 Usually we know what we need in the moment if we trust ourselves.  The trouble is that paying attention to our intuition, needs or gut feeling can be scary and seem risky.  It can also be frustrating if you’re not used to taking the time to listen to your needs.  You can learn to trust again (if you’ll take the time) and the benefits are huge!

Trusting yourself isn’t always easy and probably won’t happen overnight but you can start today. One thing to remember before you start is to be gentle on yourself.

Just because you’ve messed up in the past doesn’t mean you can’t trust yourself or others now!

Learning to trust yourself and give yourself a second (or third) chance will boost your levels of happiness and health, not to mention your confidence and depth of relationships.

Before you can start the trusting process you’ll need to ditch guilt and anger and practice letting go of the past. 

For some reason we like to hang on to memories of how we screwed up or others screwed up and caused pain.  Remember when you lost your cool on your top team player at work?  What about when you said something to your friend or spouse that really hurt?  Then there was the time when you got completely dumped on your *#@ by someone you thought loved you the most.  We hang on to those feelings of guilt, pain and sadness like a tasty icecream.  How crazy is that!?  Let them go and move on so you can feel happy!

Trusting ourselves gives us hope, resiliency and tenacity in the face of hurt, suffering and adversity.  Bonus!  When you trust yourself you’ll have more patience and compassion for others.

If you’re experiencing so much stress right now that you’re overwhelmed, deal with your stress here and then come back to work on the suggestions in this article.

If you don’t trust yourself, you won’t bother to take any steps to create your bright, happy future.  It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out that most people just want to be happy!  What most people aren’t aware of though is that they can’t be truly, madly, deeply happy or healthy if they don’t love and trust themselves.

Don’t trust yourself?  Try this…

* Make a commitment to yourself and keep it

This helps to build self trust which results in higher levels of self confidence.

* Speak highly of yourself

This also results in greater levels of confidence.  Instead of, “I’m stupid.  I’ll never learn,” insert “I messed up but I’ll get up and learn from it,”

* Be a good friend to yourself

You need to be a good friend to yourself before you can expect others to treat you well.  By the way, trusting yourself is not a guarantee that others will always treat you well.  The awesome aspect of trusting yourself is that no matter how you are treated, you’ll know your value never changes.

This is how you know if you’re a good friend to yourself.  A good friend would…

  • Make you take care of your body and take it out on walks
  • Intervene if he noticed you were sliding into negative habits like working all hours of the night
  • Let you talk about uncomfortable feelings without judging you
  • Congratulate you for setting boundaries with hurtful people
  • Make sure you’re eating and eating healthy!
  • Tell you if you’re focusing on doubt, fear or negative things and help you create a Successful Mindset (more to come on this)
  • Be gentle and forgiving towards you if you made a mistake, big or small
  • Believe in you and remind you of your ability to handle challenges and overcome them

Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you’re going to be perfect, speak perfectly, always make the best decision.  When you trust yourself you are saying, “I will do my best.  I am reliable and able to recover and move forward from loss, pain or broken trust.”

You are responsible for you.  As the landlord of YOU, how have you been taking care of this precious commodity?  If you treat yourself like crud, who would want to spend time lounging in the sun on your patio?  Who would feel motivated to work her hiney off on your team?  Who would want to support your efforts to regain your health if you’re not leading your own way?  This relationship you develop with yourself impacts the health of all of your other relationships.  Start trusting yourself first and watch your happiness and health flourish!

Amy Englemark teaches strategies to Boost Health, Wealth and Free Time to Entrepreneurs, Community and Business Leaders.  Get Amy’s 3 Step System to Boost your Time and Productivity at: www.amyenglemark.com . For Proven Tools to zap stress, free up your time and boost your income, Like Amy Englemark Coaching on Facebook and Follow her on LinkedIn at: Amy Englemark.

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