Seriously
I distinctly remember standing in the kitchen of my mom in laws house. My incredible new husband and I were in the middle of an argument. He had made some sort of joke that I had taken personally. I was so used to reacting in the same habitual way that I was far from self aware. My defensiveness was also getting in the way of me having as much fun as I like to. Sadly, I wasn’t even aware that I could be having more fun.
Does this ring a bell for you? Have you become used to that cold feeling, kind of like you’re shutting down internally, when someone makes a joke that involves you? It’s ok. I wouldn’t admit it right away either! It took me a while to realize that when people made a joke about me, it was just a joke!
The Truth
I let myself get all wrapped up in the lie that said, “People are trying to hurt you when they tease you.” Silly me, I chose to believe it. Because I believed the lie, I couldn’t lighten up, let my guard down, relax and have more fun. It wasn’t very fun living in that shell. It probably wasn’t very fun for the people around me either!
Trading Steel Toed Boots For Colorful Slippers
I wanted you to know that other people (including me) have real struggles like this. It’s something I’ve really had to work through. The first thing I did was become more self aware. Having loving people help help me change what I believed about those interactions was key. I started re-evaluating how I was viewing each situation. A fresh perspective changes everything. Then I started to take actions that were radically (in my opinion) different from how I previously would have reacted.
I started responding instead of reacting. This was difficult! Letting my guard down and allowing myself to laugh at myself was uncomfortable. But truthfully, even if something is difficult and uncomfortable, who wants to live in a shell? Can’t pretend you’re perfect forever!
What’s helped you lighten up, have more fun and get comfortable with being perfectly imperfect? Share with us over on my Facebook page. We’ll all benefit from your input!
Merry Christmas everyone! My desire for you is that you would show your imperfections and in doing so, deepen your relationship with others…and yourself.
xo Amy
