Last week I had a coaching session with a successful community leader who was trying to figure out what to say during an upcoming difficult conversation that needed to be had. She wanted to be prepared for any response the woman she’d be speaking with might have. In the past she didn’t know how to respect herself or set boundaries to make sure her needs were met.
What became clear quite quickly…
After discussing her desires, dreams and future, it became clear that she had been harboring feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness, that didn’t allow her to feel much joy or peace or pursue her personal dreams. She needed to strengthen her boundaries and change her communication strategy because she didn’t feel she was respecting herself and her dreams needed to be honored. I suggested ways she could strengthen her current boundaries setting skills (what we’ll put up with), and also new ways of communicating to ensure boundaries are respected.
What held her back
She wasn’t following through with this other woman to make sure her needs were respected because she was paying too much attention to these doubts in her mind. “Maybe my expectations are unrealistic.” “Am I being hypersensitive and asking for too much?” She wasn’t listening to her heart and believing that she was worth being valued and happy. She was focusing her attention on being a “good person” which meant ignoring her feelings and the relationship problem, which depleted her energy.
We shifted her thinking and actions to put self love and respect at the center. As a result, she was transformed.
New Strategy
She identified what she wanted for herself, for the other woman and for both of them to support her own needs and future dreams of contribution. She then created key words to communicate so she could be the best version of herself. She learned she didn’t have to stuff her feelings down or face a daily, constant struggle. She implemented the De-Stressing principles to deal with discomfort now to enjoy the future payoff of ease and peace of mind.
She now feels prepared and strong.
If you’re not for you, who is?
Have a question for me? Email me back. I read every email I receive and will do my best to respond.
Warmly, Amy
Interested in learning my boundary setting and communication strategies this Summer to feel free, calm and confident? I have a special offer I’ve never offered before. Usually group coaching costs $1,000 US per month but for this 6 week group opportunity, you get access to me every week for $497 US. Save your spot here. Then contact me and I’ll send you the details. This is for new AND past clients. If you need more info, email me back and we can schedule a 20 minute chat. This opportunity is priceless, just like you.