The Absolute Best Thing To Do When You’re Stressed Out
A lovely woman reached out to me because she was feeling completely overwhelmed by stress. She was caught in a negative mental rut and had been for a few years! Her negative focus was robbing her of the ability to focus at work and in her relationships. In short, she couldn’t relax.
One belief that was amplifying her stress was, “I should always be doing. I should always be productive in some way. It’s important that I have control over myself and my future. If I don’t, I’ll feel insecure and start to worry.”
Can you see how these beliefs would keep her in a ‘stressed-out’ mode? If you feel less valuable when you are resting, compared to being in constant motion, you may have the same belief as my client.
Let’s Get Personal
What’s causing you the most stress? Picture the situation or person clearly in your mind. Maybe you are dealing with a very uncomfortable relationship. Maybe your feelings have been hurt or maybe you’re afraid to make a decision that might upset someone. Maybe there’s a date in your future that you’re worried about. Maybe you’ve been people pleasing, saying yes when you mean no. (If so, get off the people pleasing treadmill here).
Instead of focusing on the problem, I want you to try this – focus on the solution! Some say that we spend 90% of our time focusing on what’s “wrong” and only 10% of our time brainstorming a solution.
What’s Great About Your Stress?
I want you to list all of the ways this current challenge is benefiting you – why it’s even great! Instead of stressing over what happened in the past or will happen in the future, focus on the solution. There are many helpful perspectives from which to view your challenge.
In Anthony Robbins book, “Awaken the Giant Within,” he suggests using powerful questions to help you view your situation in a new light. “What’s great about this problem?” you can ask yourself.
You might realize that you’re done with giving your time away to groups or people who aren’t your top priorities. What is the grain of truth in this stressful situation? Instead of fearing you have failed, missed an opportunity or won’t be able to voice your feelings without losing your temper, search for the opportunity in the stress. What opportunity are you being offered RIGHT NOW, in this situation?
Stress offers us opportunities to improve in our relationships. Don’t let stress damage your relationships: “4 Simple Ways To Keep A Relationship Strong.”
Focusing on the benefits of stressful situations changes your perspective to what you can learn instead of what you feel you need to fear or worry about. What’s great about this situation? As you begin to shift your perspective you will see yourself, others and life in a whole new light and decrease your stress simultaneously. Your confidence will increase the more aware you are of the control you have over your stress levels. You’re in control of the thoughts you choose to focus on, what feelings you experience and how you feel in your body. It’s your decision. Do you want to feel overwhelmed and stressed or at peace and in control?
Daily Action Step:
What fresh perspective on your current challenge will help you decrease your stress levels? What action step will you take today in light of your new perspective?
Amy Englemark teaches strategies to Boost Health, Wealth and Free Time to Entrepreneurs, Community and Business Leaders. Get Amy’s 3 Step System to Boost your Time and Productivity at: www.amyenglemark.com . For Proven Tools to zap stress, free up your time and boost your income, Like Amy Englemark Coaching on Facebook and Follow her on LinkedIn at: Amy Englemark.