How To Achieve Long Term Happiness:
Controlling Your Emotions
Too much chocolate, verbal vomit and procrastination all have one thing in common – immediate gratification. Entrepreneurs, CEO’s and anyone living can attest to the power emotions have over our decision making. When you let your emotions make your decisions for you, you’ll typically feel good about your words or actions (in the moment, but not for long). Whether you’re at work, home with your family or enjoying time off, learning how to control your emotions is key to achieving long term happiness.
When I’m caught off guard at work by something someone said, my initial reaction is emotionally charged. I make up a story in my head about what that person meant and how they feel. My reaction (or response) is dictated by that story. If I don’t take control of my emotions in the moment, I may regret my words or tone of voice later.
When I know exactly where the chocolate is (second shelf down in the corner cupboard) and I need to focus or maybe I’m feeling anxious, my reaction is to reach out to get my needs met.
When I don’t feel like sticking to my goals or following through with a commitment, I have a decision to make. I can let my emotions rule me or I can step up and start ruling over them.
Initially we feel, then we act from that place. As we mature, we realize that following our emotions can sometimes be disasterous in boardroom meetings, in conversations with our spouses, children or clients. So how do people develop more self control? How do the elusive “wise ones” control their emotions so they can feel happier in the run?
Here are tips that have helped me question my initital feelings and choose wisely how I respond in life:
- Get Curious: It never hurts to ask, “Is this what you meant? This is the way I see the situation and I just wanted to check to hear your side of the story.”
- Empower Yourself: If you’ve let yourself down in the past (it would be puzzling if you haven’t yet) due to decisions you regret, you’ll need to fan the flames of belief about what’s possible for you. Tell yourself, “I make decisions that make me proud. I make decisions with confidence. I respond to others with grace and forethought.” You fill in the blank “I am a _______” with whatever you need to believe about yourself.
- The writer Rick Warren suggests asking yourself these three questions: What’s the real reason I’m feeling this? Is it true? Is what I’m feeling helping me or hurting me?