Become a Problem Solver
By Amy Englemark
What you mean to communicate and what the other person feels you’re saying can be completely different. This type of misunderstanding in relationships happens to all of us. Whether you’re communicating with a friend, colleague or spouse, your intentions need to be clarified.
I have been blessed to share an awesomely intimate and strong relationship with my husband over many years. This doesn’t mean it’s always sparks and fire or always peaches and cream. Though, for the most part we enjoy a lot of spark with our peaches! We are two strong people who have had to learn how to be a team. Learn is the key word here. We have had to learn to communicate at a high level so we can cultivate relationship habits that will increase our intimacy for many years to come.
Many a conversation in our household has been interpreted to mean something different than it was intended to. Personally, I think one big bonus of having difficult conversations is that they are opportunities in disguise. They give us practice. And practice makes perfect! What a gift! When we exercise our ability to get over misunderstandings we will grow stronger and enjoy more peace and power in our everyday lives.
Everyone has their own preferred way they like to sabotage their relationships. Why, oh why do we choose to inflict ourselves with pain? Sometimes we stay too long in a state of discomfort (conversation gone bad) because we don’t have the skills to get ourselves out! I’m going to share with you some skills I’ve learned through my relationships. If you take them to heart and apply them you will start seeing breakthroughs in your relationships.
Want a BREAKTHROUGH? Here’s the SKILLS:
*Respond to your emotions by looking for the action that needs to be taken or the perception that needs to be shifted. Emotions aren’t bad. They are signals we need to listen to. These are some of the emotions that need to be acknowledged and dealt with before we can get back to a joyful, peaceful state in our relationships.
Hurt, Anger, Confusion Frustration, Overwhelm
What are these emotions signalling to you?
*Be intentional about your decisions. If I decide to avoid the person I’m in conflict with or decide to blame him/her it’s my choice. Or, I can choose to love that person. It’s my choice. You have a choice. Everyday, all day long you make choices that have the power to change the way you and your spouse (friend, coworker) relate. Create love in your relationships by being intentional about your choices.
*Set aside your problems so you can focus on building (not tearing down) your relationship. WHAT YOU FOCUS ON GROWS! If you want to feel loved, appreciated and desired then focus on the solution.
There is power in this way of thinking. You have been given an incredible mind. Use it and take action now.
I’m so excited for you. So excited to be a part of your life. Take these skills and run with them. Live what you learn.
Much Love,
Amy
