You choose how you will view your problem or situation.  The perspective you choose can limit you or help you come up with solutions to your problem.

If you want your life to change you need to change your perspective on your life.  Take my life for example.  Before I had kids my life was somewhat quite different from what it is today!  There are a few fundamental parts of my life that didn’t change but a large part of what I called life had to shift so I could become “mom.”

I did not always accept my new role with grace.  My boys grew from little babies with unending needs into little boys who push their boundaries, yet are the light of my life.  These children could be considered one of two things.  A hinderance, holding me back from everything else I want to experience or a gift and honorable responsibility.  Kids offer us adults a great opportunity for personal growth.  In no way am I saying my kids are my “problems.”  They have simply challenged me and therefore offer a great illustration for what I want to share with you.

Problem Solving Questions

In Anthony Robbins book, “Awaken the Giant Within” he offers these empowering questions that will help you deal with your road blocks.  When you come up against a challenge that needs to be solved, ask yourself these questions.

1. What is great about this problem?
2. What is not perfect yet?
3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
4. What am I no longer willing to do to make it the way I want it?
5. How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?

Systematically stating the answers to these questions out loud or writing them down gives you access to resources and solutions.  Getting angry, frustrated or stressed about your situation isn’t going to make it any better, probably will make it worse.  You need to break your pattern.  Asking yourself the first question will most likely make you feel thankful for something.

What’s great about me having kids is that I get to see life through their eyes, on a small but fantastic scale.  I get to experience things for the first time again.  I get to embrace joy and carefree living through them and with them.  They help me climb out of my small adult box into the “anything is possible” world.

I like how question number two implies that things will be perfect.  Very reassuring.

I will have time later for other things I want to spend my time involved with.

Taking Responsibility Feels Good

Questions Three gives you the opportunity to improve your life, however you see fit.  You can take control of your situation simply by deciding what needs adjusting.  For me, I need to make sure I make time for business and fun me time so I can feel balanced inside and meet my goals.

Isn’t question number four almost more empowering and humbling than number three?  Acknowledging what you’re doing that you need to stop doing isn’t always the easiest thing in the world.  It’s necessary to pinpoint what you are doing that is keeping you from moving forward.  When you do and you commit to stopping, you will experience freedom.  Forward movement.

What Are You Committed To?

I accepted my responsibiltiy as a mom and also acknowledged my need to keep my own identity.  I realized I needed to push myself more than I naturally would to have what I wanted.  I decided that I was no longer willing to rest as much as I had been and that I was going to actively pursue my dreams and relationships instead of waiting for them to come to me.  My personal and business dreams were more important than my love of resting and spontaneous living.  I am still spontaneous at heart but am now more of a planner and savor my rest time as it is well earned.

Enjoy the Process

I started enjoying how slow life sometimes feels from a parents perspective.  I was able to find more joy in my days by being feverishly focused when I made time for business tasks or time for exercise.  I would physically tuck myself away and let family members know what I was doing, why it was important and how long I would be unavailable for.  This allowed me to accomplish personal goals and helped me shut my ‘working’ brain off when I was with the boys again.

Use this list of questions to keep yourself in a resourceful state.  Asking yourself the right questions can get you out of any hole.  Do you have questions you routinely ask yourself that you find helpful?  I would love for you to share them here.  Which question above did you like best?

Keep Shining!

Amy