Listen up. It’s time to lighten up!! Sometimes that’s easier said than done. So many people get caught in the criticism trap instead of being able to step around it. Oh my. Today let’s focus on ways to accept criticism with grace instead of becoming defensive.
Try to remember the last time you were criticized. Maybe the person was as kind as possible when they confronted you and maybe they were harsh and rude. What was your reaction? Did you justify your actions, or lack thereof? Did you defend yourself to the bitter end? Did you lash back? These are all very common ways of reacting to criticism. Do you know what I’m going to say next? You may have noticed the word react.
You must react respond. When you respond instead of reacting you are being intentional and thinking with a broader perspective in mind. When you respond you are not only thinking of yourself and your emotions but you’re also taking the time to detach from the criticism emotionally.
Taking time before you respond, maybe even walking away from the situation for a while, will give you that objective perspective that you help you push through and past whatever obstacle you’re facing. When all you can see is how badly you’ve been hurt or how angry you’ve become you may react in a way you regret later.
All to often people become offended–in their kitchen, in the parking lot, in their workplace. Criticism can catch you off guard. Before you know it, you feel trapped. This usually happens because you’re taking the criticism personally. You need to shift your perspective from, “They’re criticizing my person,” to “They’re criticizing my actions.”
Time to shift your perspective. Look for the positive in criticism. One big positive is that you have an opportunity to grow.
You have an opportunity to improve yourself here. Look for the grain of truth in the criticism. When you think about it, where is your heart saying, “Pay attention here.” Be honest with yourself.
What’s better, being right (in your mind anyway!) and never growing personally or being humble? Humility is so beautiful. Not only will your strength, endurance and potential grow when you choose humility but you will also be silently modelling humility to others.
You can teach powerfully with your life. You don’t need to use words. Your actions speak loudly. There is power in your life. What are you teaching others in your life by the actions you choose? By the words you allow out of your mouth?
When you choose to view criticism from a positive stand point the situation you’re in will become more clear. You will gain a new perspective on yourself. From this standpoint you can strive to do better. Instead of viewing criticism as a personal attack you have the option to look at it as an opportunity. Aren’t opportunities wonderful? They surround us.
When you’re criticized you may even choose to thank the other person. Most of the time they would never expect this type of response. You never know what doors humility and love will open for you. You may even win over some enemies…make new friends.
Remember, no one is always right. I know this personally. In the earlier years of my marriage I would NOT budge. I was right even if I secretly doubted myself. Seriously now, how interesting would you or I be if we were perfect? Thankfully I’ve come a long way in that area and have tools that help me differentiate between what needs improving in my self versus my actions. When you choose to stay in a small box you’ve created for yourself, there’s not much room for others opinions or perspectives let alone joy. And you and I both need joy in our relationships!
The path to smoother relationships is being flexible. Be willing to take a minute before you respond. Take a few deep breaths. This actually helps you calm down and get a clear perspective. Keep in mind, if your feelings have been hurt, no good was ever done by responding in the same manner. Choose to look for the truth in the words spoken and then strive to do better, to be better.
Choose the high road.
And Keep Shining xo
Amy
