Time constraints, lack of sleep, extra stress and perceived lack of control are all triggers that may cause you to lose your temper instead of expressing your feelings in a healthy way.  Many of us feel frustrated that our spouses, family members or co-workers don’t understand us.  Shouldn’t they know what we need and how we feel by now?  Don’t they see us feeling tired, cranky, resentful?  Can’t they read our minds?

The answer is no!  Unless you spell out your needs and feelings to others they will not know.  You would prefer that they clue into your needs without being told.  Wouldn’t we all!  The truth is, clear communication is necessary if you want to get your needs met.

People DO care for you but sometimes they don’t know exactly how you want them to show it.  I know.  It feels uncomfortable and downright frustrating to have to ask for what you need but until others understand why it’s so important to you they probably won’t act in ways that make you feel valued.  An important thing to remember is that the way you think, what your priorities and needs are, even how you like to receive love could be very different from those around you.

Start to create and sustain clear communication by following these steps.  All the power to ya!

First Step

In order to express your feelings and ask for what you need you must first believe that you deserve to be heard and loved, that your needs are important and that YOU ARE IMPORTANT.  If you don’t deeply believe you are valuable you won’t believe what you have to say is valuable and therefore won’t take a risk and communicate.

Second Step

Take a look at how you are feeling and do your best to pin point what the emotion is.  Own YOUR feelings.  Instead of saying you feel cornered you might say you feel afraid or helpless.  Instead of saying “I feel judged by you” you might say, “I feel like I’m not as valuable as you” or “I feel less valuable.”  By changing your wording you are truly getting down to how you feel and not pointing out what you feel someone else is doing.  You’re much more likely to open the doors of positive communication instead of making the other person defensive.

Third Step

Decide to talk about your feelings when you’re upset, not a week, month or year later.  Take the time to communicate before blowing a verbal fuse and later regretting your choice of words.  Remember that you always have a choice.  You choose how you will respond.  People and circumstances cannot be blamed for how you choose to respond.  You are in control of your mind and tongue.  Use them wisely.

Your opinion is important my friend, even if it’s different from the opinions of others.  By being honest and intentional as you express your feelings you will start to experience an increase in the depth, closeness and strength of your relationships.  It takes confidence to be vulnerable but the payoffs are huge.

Share this with someone who would benefit and have a great day!

Keep Shining!

Amy

Amy Englemark is a Self Care Expert, unique-like a breath of fresh air in a stressed out, overworked society. She shows people why staying healthy is vital and guides them to establish and maintain positive changes in their lives in a stress-free way! As a dynamic, sought-after speaker, writer and founder of Amy Englemark Coaching, Amy Englemark is passionate about helping people develop guilt free self care choices and create sustainable lifestyle changes.