The phone is ringing. People are calling for you. Texts are coming in. You remember that something went wrong today and someone at work needs your attention. The project you’re working on isn’t finished. Everything seems to need your attention, including your kids and spouse, who aren’t getting it.
Thinking the world will fall apart if you’re not available 24/7 will cause you anxiety you don’t need and were never meant to carry. It will also make it very challenging to feel present and connected with your family and spouse.
Untapped Opportunities
A few months ago I was coaching a successful business woman. She was feeling frustrated and unhappy because she didn’t know how to be present, especially at home.
She wanted to connect with her kids and enjoy them instead of feeling like she should be doing other work. She wanted to take more time off, stress free. She realized she was assuming the worst would happen if she stepped away from work. If only she could stop being pulled in 20 directions and be present!
Being present is challenging, but if you don’t make a change, it could cost you.
10 steps that helped her (and help me) feel connected…
Turn should into could
You are in complete control of how you spend your time. If you listen to how others think you should spend your time, you will be unhappy. If you let stress make you believe you don’t have time to connect, have fun or rest, you will be unhappy. What could your evenings and weekends look like instead of absent in mind or body? Write a “could” list and then see what possible fun you can get up to!
Decide what you need to care about now and what can wait.
Keep caring for people but stop doing their work for them. Step back from doing it all. Remind yourself that the world won’t crumble and allow others to step up as leaders in their own lives.
Deny the fears
Being present requires you to take control of your thoughts. Rather than focusing on your fears, focus on the facts and the best possible outcome. Denying fears doesn’t mean you’re being Polyanna. Bad things happen but expecting for the worst and preparing for the worst outcome is a life lived in fear.
Know your values
How do you want to feel on a daily basis? I’m not asking, how do others want you to live. What do you value most? When you honor your values you’ll feel more present and content in the moment. Knowing your values gives you freedom and control to create the life you want instead of report on a life you’d rather not be living.
Trust yourself
The more you trust yourself to make good decisions, the more confident you’ll feel. Practice giving yourself permission to listen to the voice inside you, the one you like. The more you trust yourself, the more others can trust you and the more connected you’ll feel.
Ditch the guilt
You are just as important as your colleagues, customers or friends. Your needs for connection are just as important as others needs. If you’re not used to setting clear boundaries to respect your needs, you may feel guilty at first. Celebrate the guilt. It’s simply a green light letting you know you’re on the right path. No one else will stand up for what matters to you. That’s your responsibility.
Prioritize
Prioritize what needs your attention. Not everything needs to be done right now. Some items on your list may not even be yours to take care of. Decide what’s urgent now and what can wait til tomorrow.
Plan Ahead
Want to play with your kids or grandkids, to remember what the person in front of you just said? Set aside time to address work later so your brain can rest now.
Communicate Plans
Everyone will be happier when they know what to expect. This decreases frustration and disappointment and improves mutual understanding. Let your spouse know what’s stressing you. Tell the kids your fun plans so they can look forward to them. Email your colleague to let them know when you will and won’t be available.
Let me know which steps would help you feel more connected to your family, even when life is busy, busy, busy.
With Love,
Amy
PS: Have you had a minute to check out our Retreat “The Leaders Circle” in Kauai, Hawaii December 4-6th, 2019?
Think about it. You could be sitting by the pool, meeting other inspiring leaders, learning great business strategies, having a ton of fun, and diving into future planning with support.
This 3-day deep coaching adventure will leave you feeling energized, equipped and inspired to catapult your business or professional life and self to the next level.
The Leadership Circle is THE event to align your values of health, contribution, family and integrity with you deep desire to expand professionally and personally and create more abundance. We would love to see you there. Email me for all the details!
