“Iron sharpens iron.” When two sharp knives are rubbed against each other they have the potential to cause damage or to sharpen one another. This is what spouse’s sometimes do. We clash with one another. The result of this clash depends on how the situation is dealt with. Our actions can either hurt the other or sharpen the other, so that in the future, we will be able to respond with more wisdom.
Do you ever wonder when this ‘hard time’ will end? I’ve been through them myself (as has my husband). I’ve wondered if I could make it through. I wondered how much my heart could take before it would break. What always held me together was my belief that I will never be given more than I can handle. Another belief that supported and supports me still through hard times is that every situation in my life is and will be used for a greater purpose. I truly believe that our beliefs will either support us through hard times with our partners or allow us to ‘jump the train’ when things get tough.
In relationships we all want greater intimacy, deep trust, deep joy. We want a partner that we can tell anything to, one who listens intently. We want love that won’t wilt away with time. My expectation for my marriage is that everything that’s good right now will become even better and that the problems we face will be replaced with positive relationship habits. I’m a positive thinker but I’m also willing to work for these things. I’m willing to be committed, to forgive and give my husband the patience I would hope he would extend to me.
If you’re in a hard time right now. Don’t give up hope! There IS a solution. It’s not too late. You just need to ask yourself some empowering questions to get the solution focused part of your brain flowing. Here are a few tips to get your focus off the ‘hard times’ and on to getting through:
*Step away from your “problems”. Rather, spend your time and energy building your relationship through positive actions. What you focus on grows.
*Ask yourself empowering questions like, “What am I happy, excited, proud, grateful about in my life right now?” What am I committed to in my life right now?” “What have I given today?” “What did I learn?” “How has today added to the quality of my life or how can I use today as an investment in my future?”
*Put forth the effort. You might not feel like you’ve got it in you but you do!
*Listen intently. Don’t pretend you’re listening while you think about your schedule in your head. Listen and hear your partner. Listen for what they’re not saying as well. Learn to listen at a deeper level.
*Take responsibility. You need to own up. If you made a mistake, own up. Learn and become someone even greater. You’ll inspire others and yourself!
You have the power to transform your situation. Isn’t that incredible!? You have the power to turn your marriage around. Fantastic! I’ll be on the sidelines, cheering you on. When you’re hopeless, anxious, exhausted or confused, there is hope, peace, energy and clarity waiting for you. You may just need to adopt a new perspective and gain new relationship habits and techniques. I hope this post has been helpful for you. Please feel free to contact me and please visit my facebook page and let me know about yourself and how you’re doing in your relationship! I’m always posting tips, resources and encouragement there…
Keep Shining!
Amy