Hello to YOU! Before I jump into Part 2 of this series I want to touch bases with you. I asked a question at the end of my last post. Consider what decisions you have been avoiding due to fear. Write down your top decision that needs to be made. Now look at that decision from a fresh perspective. What happens when you ask yourself, “What decision would I make if I was motivated by love?” “What decision would show myself a little self respect?”
All too often we make our decisions based on what would make other people happy. What about how YOU feel about the decision? Pretend others aren’t around to care. What would your decision be then?
Measure Your Pain and Pleasure
When I’m motivated by fear I simply won’t make decisions! Fear puts me in a state of paralysis. When motivated by fear I decide (usually unintentionally) to focus on how uncomfortable I might feel instead of how uncomfortable I am confined inside a box. The trick is to measure which decision makes you most uncomfortable and then ask yourself why. Which decision would bring you the most pleasure? Write down all the pleasure you could enjoy by standing up for your needs more. Again, write down all the pain continually saying yes brings. Compare your lists. Take one decision to use for this exercise. Take five minutes.
For some of you, the challenge lies in saying yes more often. Yes, I can help you. Yes, I will let you into my heart. Yes, I choose to go after big, crazy dreams instead of living my “same” life. Sometimes saying yes is a lot scarier than saying no. That’s when a leap of faith is needed. Stepping out of your comfort zone will require a leap of faith my friends. When you feel like you know what next step you should take, take it. You may not be able to see two steps into your future but as soon as you take the first step, you will be given more clarity. It’s a trust issue. You have a choice to make. Start small.
Self Respect Benefits Others
Decisions motivated by love not only honor your needs but honor those your decision affects. If you continually struggle with establishing your boundary lines by saying yes all too often, you are enabling others. Please understand, that that sentence wasn’t easy to write. Some people will take advantage of your caring, generous heart. Those you are in relationship with will grow accustomed to your normal response. When you start to take better care of yourself don’t be suprised. Others may not like the change! Without knowing it, you may be enabling some people around you to never mature past a certain point. They may always expect others to pick up their slack instead of taking care of their own responsibilities. Your ability to say no (or yes) more often will allow others to start flourishing.
I wish you all the courage and strength in the world today.
Much love,
Amy
