The Top Reason Your Life Is Out Of Balance
Balancing career, family and community involvement takes work. It takes work and it never feels quite balanced. Your kids, spouse and friends want more of your time than you can find to give. Your clients or customers openly display disappointment when you’re not available 24/7. The top reason your life is out of balance may surprise you though. In order for you to have more time for family and yourself, let’s examine what’s holding you back.
Key signs your life is out of balance
You don’t feel fully present at work (because you’re thinking of your families needs)
You don’t feel fully present at home (because work needs you)
You phone has become closer to you than your husband/wife/partner
Your children are telling you they want to “be” with you, not just see you
You never feel like you can turn off mentally
You don’t often intentionally plan time with your loved ones
You feel scattered and like you’re scrambling to keep up with all the back end work
You don’t take much time to plan or think ahead
You’re unable to keep up and have started to “drop balls”
Your stress and anxiety is higher than you like
You don’t listen to your needs for rest
You often say yes to other people’s priorities but have a difficult time honoring your own needs
What You Think Will Help
Your mind says this whole balance problem will be a thing of the past when you get better at organizing and prioritizing. If you just take more time to plan in advance, your problem will be solved!
The Real Reasons You’re Still Unbalanced
Guilt
What if you’re not there for your child or your client when they need you? What could happen? Your mind naturally goes to the worst case scenario. Then guilt sets in. Guilt makes you feel like you’re not a good person unless you say yes.
Yes, I can help. Yes, I have time. Yes, I’ll come to your party. Yes, I’ll work longer hours.
Yes, I’ll take on that project that doesn’t really excited me. Yes, I’ll volunteer.
Guilt makes you feel like you don’t have a choice, which is a lie. You do.
Shame
Shame happens as a result of listening to guilt. Well “loved” people in our society are always available, right? The cool ones are applauded for their willingness to forego family and health like a martyr. You are revered in our society as one who “rises above your own needs to serve others” when you deny what you need and in the end, hit a wall and become resentful.
You must decide if others approval is more important to you than your own needs for happiness. By the way, making decisions that make you happy is NOT selfish.
Did you know, when you are happy, you’re 12% more likely to be successful? That means you’ll be more productive and consequently be more likely to make more money. Happy people are better to work for, much more enjoyable to be married to and enjoy health benefits that less happy people do not. Others benefit from the healthy boundaries you set for yourself.
Fear
It’s obvious. The world will come to an end if you aren’t always available for others. The world won’t come to an end!! This is the lie I hear my clients talking about all the time. It’s true. You may lose a sale here and there. You might lose touch with certain people. The truth is that ultra needy, demanding, unrealistic, boundary-less people don’t understand you have a life too. The other truth is that you will always be surrounded by people who love you if you love you. Cheesy but true. You will always have more than enough money if you focus on creating an abundance in ALL areas of your life.
Being available 24/7 comes with a cost. You can only do so much before you break. There IS a snapping point and you don’t want to go there. Just like one of my client’s says, “You need to invest in preventative support for yourself and your business just like you would for your fitness, your kids or your marriage.”
What’s your plan for avoiding the breaking point? You can create a life of balance. The first step is believing. The second step is creating a plan.
For more strategies to Boost Wealth, Health and Happiness visit www.amyenglemark.com. To contact Amy directly email coacha@amyenglemark.com.