“The things which hurt, instruct.” — Benjamin Franklin
So you made a mistake. Everyone does it. No one’s perfect. We all have areas we could improve in. We all make mistakes. There’s no one who is exempt.
The trouble is, even with this knowledge, most of us beat ourselves up. We feel beating ourselves up will make things better or somehow solve our problem. Others may rub our mistakes in our faces but we’re the only ones who can mentally beat ourselves into the ground.
Sometimes making a mistake feels like a wipe-out. Just like a runner who has fallen. She’s face down on the ground and she’s got road burn. Follow these steps to be more kind to yourself during painful experiences. Then you will be able to get back on your feet, start walking and eventually running.
- Acknowledge your mistake and take responsibility
This will help you lift your head off the ground and ‘see the light’ up ahead. Pride won’t get you too far in life. I know this to be true! Linking arms with humility opens doors to…
- Identify the lesson hidden in your failure/mistake
Now you’re on your knees and your strength is coming back. This is where your opportunity for personal growth lies. Think of mistake as learning opportunities. Every mistake you make has the potential to refine and beautify you, just as gold is refined in a fire.
- Determine how you’re now better equipped to deal with this specific area of your life
You’re standing on your own two feet again. What knowledge, resources and/or wisdom have you gained?
- Identify the first step you need to take to appreciate yourself more
Now you’re smiling and about to put one foot in front of the other. Remember that the biggest part of handling failure well is how you treat yourself. Being intentional about the personal changes you want to make will improve how you tackle similar challenges in the future.
Beating yourself up for your mistakes will only deplete you of energy and confidence. It’s much more difficult to recover from a fall and find the wisdom you need when you’re calling yourself names. Choose to alleviate yourself of unnecessary suffering by giving yourself a break.
When we make mistakes we grow. The next time you encounter the same or similar problem take hold of your new found wisdom and fresh perspective. And hey, be gentle on yourself!
Love,
Amy
I think the hardest part is identifying the lesson. It’s easy to get caught at knowing I made a mistake. The harder part is getting past that. I am getting better at it though.
Thanks for commenting Ruby!
Sometimes we dismiss our first “feeling” regarding what the lesson is we’re to learn. You may try paying more attention to what occurs to you right away after you make it through a painfull experience. What seems like a small lesson can be the catalyst for a large scale inner transformation! Amy
Thank you for this beautiful blog post and the very helpful tools to overcome beating ourselves up. I deeply appreciated the blog post as always!