Know Your Worth: A Step By Step Guide For Approval Junkies
When I was younger my Mom and Dad split up. Fear of being abandoned was soon planted in my heart. Being a little girl I didn’t know that my heart had equated Separation as Abandonement. As my relationship with my Dad decreased into my teenage years I think my fear solidified and morphed into Anger.
Expose the Lies
At some point I must have started believing that I wasn’t very valuable if he wasn’t going to stick around. Ouch. I became angry that he didn’t make a big effort, him being the adult, to kindle the relationship.
As a young woman I fell in love and dove deep into my first relationship. Things got intimate. I gave my heart away. We didn’t stay together for very long in the whole scheme of things. Because I’d fallen deeply and then it didn’t work out, I started believing lies about myself.
The lies were,
“I’m only beautiful for what people can see about me. “
“My beauty and value is only skin deep.”
“Men will love me just for my body. They will use me and then leave.”
“I am responsible for negative things happening to me.”
“I need to be careful ‘how much I allow myself to shine’ because I will attract negative attention.” (This last belief was a generational lie I believe other women in my family have struggled with).
Let’s make sure things are very clear. My Dad was and is wonderful. He always treated me with love, gentleness and kindness. This boyfriend was also wonderful. He cared for me deeply. It’s just that the “leaving” part of both of these stories left lies planted in my heart. These lies culminated into a BIG belief:
“Maybe God is ultimately not trustworthy either. Maybe He will eventually leave me and I will feel abandoned again.”
The Hunger That Gnaws
Thus began my search and gnawing hunger for love…a deep knowledge that I WAS LOVED, at all times, just for being me. I wanted so badly to believe that I was VALUABLE and LOVEABLE for ALL OF ME.
In my late teens I met my husband. He was instrumental in helping me transform my beliefs about myself. He continued to speak the truth into me. I grew in my relationship with God. Slowly but surely over the years I became a new woman…one who now believes the oppposite of everything above.
Decide What Will Be Your New Truth
Actually, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I am SO very deeply loved by my God, as you are.
I know that my value doesn’t shift with the ebb and flow of the tide.
I know that I am not responisible for others decisions.
I know I am MEANT TO SHINE, as you are. That shining is a MARVELOUS thing. That you and I are not meant to hide our light. Shining because you have a purpose, not from a need for love.
How valuable do YOU feel? What have you believed about yourself and what are you choosing to believe to be the truth now? I’d love to hear YOUR story below xo