Let me share a client’s success story. If she can overcome anxiety, so can you!
Sarah is married and also a mom of three kids. One of whom deals with multiple health issues. She is a successful medical professional and works full time, often on call through the night. She was quick to let me know that her life felt out of balance.
A self proclaimed “perfectionist,” she told me with frustration, “I just can’t stop doing things! There are so many times in a day I want to cry. I’m pulled in 20 different directions and never have a moment to myself. I feel out of control and therefore want to control everything. It’s so frustrating. I feel I’ll let everyone down if I don’t keep things under my control.”
She felt it was better to kill herself (her words) to get all the work done rather than rest here and there. “Sleep is unnecessary” she once said. She never felt like she was doing enough, ever. She didn’t know it but she was chasing others definition of success instead of creating her own definition of success and living by it.
Her husband wished she would communicate more with him. Sarah felt anxious at the thought of creating more stress for him by offloading her worries on to him or asking him for help. She became resentful, frustrated and anxious….because she didn’t ask for help.
She felt anxious because she felt she couldn’t focus.
She felt anxious because she was trying to control everything.
She felt anxious because she wasn’t talking with God about her challenges (she didn’t want to bother The Big Dude either).
She felt anxious because she wasn’t making time for adequate sleep, exercise or eating healthy (sometimes eating at all).
She felt anxious because she was comparing herself to others and therefore felt she was failing and didn’t measure up to their perceived “perfectness.”
She felt anxious because she was spending too much time worrying about what others might be thinking and then taking responsibility for their thoughts, emotions and behavior.
Rather than resort to running away by yourself to an island where no one can find you and your phone dies, let’s talk about how you can feel calm, confident and peaceful.
5 Steps To Decrease Anxiety And Stop Worrying
- Notice when you’re feeling anxious. What are your signs? For me, I get a tighter stomach or may start biting my nails. For others, anxiety grabs a hold of their thoughts and they can’t think straight. For someone else, they might notice they’re acting rudely or impatient towards others. What are your signs? Get in touch with them.
- Ask why. Rewind your thoughts to the time when you started feeling anxious. What happened? Was someone else there? What did they say? Did you read an email? Target the event and ask yourself, “Why did that make me feel anxious?”
- Recognize the thought. With practice you’ll begin to remember and recognize what thought impacted your emotions to make you feel anxious. Your thoughts could sound like this, “She’s upset with me because she hasn’t returned my call. I’ve done something wrong. I should be doing something to improve the situation right now before someone’s disappointed.” You might become aware that you’re making up a story instead of finding out the facts.
- Ask, “Is it true?” If you don’t know, get curious and ask.
- Take action. Only take this last step if the responsibility lies in your court. Too often people take responsibility, apologize or take on more work when it was never their issue in the first place! If the situation would benefit from you taking action, now’s your time!
You’ll be happy to know that Sarah’s life has literally transformed. She’s now able to catch her thoughts and ask herself if it’s true before she believes it. She’s decided she’s no longer responsible for others decisions, thoughts or emotions. She asks more questions and assumes she’s right, less.
She trusts God way more than before and is open to being helped by that great big beautiful Spirit on a day to day basis. She feels stronger and has let go of the need to do everything herself. She’s pleasantly surprised that sometimes the job gets done better when someone else does it!
She’s a much better sleeper because she listens to her needs for rest. She’s intentional about spending time with her kids and husband and has learned that even a few minutes together go a long way. She’s much better at saying no so she can now spend time doing what she wants to be doing with the people who matter to her most.
For more strategies to Boost Wealth, Health and Happiness visit www.amyenglemark.com. To contact Amy directly email coacha@amyenglemark.com.